UltraMantis Black Copypasta

Based on this:

MIYAWAKI-SAN!!! HAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE COME TO YOU TONIGHT WITH AN OFFER, HAHAHAHA! THE ORDER OF THE NEO SOLAR TEMPLE IS LOOKING FOR EMISSARIES IN EVERY PART OF THE GLOBE!AND YOU, MY FRIEND, I CHOOSE YOU TO REPRESENT THE ORIENT! HAHAHAHAHAHA! SO TONIGHT, MY BATTLE CRY TO YOU IS JOIN OR DIE, POOR MIYAWAKI! IF YOU REFUSE, I WILL FOLLOW YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE KAIENTAI DOJO, 'AND I WILL ATTACK, AND I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL DESTROY YOUR NATION'S WHALING INDUSTRY! I WILL ATTACK THE WHALING SHIPS, AND I WILL SINK THEM AND BURN THEM, AND THEN I WILL DRIVE THE HARPOON THROUGH YOUR HEART, MIYAWAKI! SO TONIGHT, MIYAWAKI-SAN, JOIN OR DIE!!!' HAHAHAHAHAHA-A-A!!!