Hermit PC Guy

 is episode 4b of Comedy World. It aired on Disney Channel on March 28th, 1998.

Synopsis
PC Guy is sick of Eric's tomfoolery, so he abandons suburban life and moves to a cave in a nearby forest.

Cast

 * Eric as himself


 * Brian as PC Guy


 * Young Guy as Cave Dweller #1


 * David as Cave Dweller #2


 * Dee Bradley Baker as Fluffy

Trivia

 * This episode marks the first appearance of Lakeside Forest.


 * Even though PC Guy said the music was too loud, it was at a normal volume.

Transcript
PC Guy: Man, I'm so bored. I wish there was something I could do.

[Eric runs in.]

Eric: We can always play leap frog!

PC Guy: Remember the last time we did that?

[Flashback begins]

Eric: Let's play some leap frog, because why not?

PC Guy: Are you sure about this?

Eric: Does it look like I'm sure?

[We see a disturbing closeup of Eric's face]

PC Guy: Yes.

[PC Guy hops on Eric's back and leaps. Crashing is heard]

PC Guy: OH, THE AGONY!

[Flashback ends]

Eric: I don't think so.

PC Guy: Perhaps we can dance?

Eric: Good idea! [turns a speaker on and cranks the volume up]

[Rock Music plays]

PC Guy: IT'S TOO LOUD!

Eric: What? I can't hear you, because the music is TOO AWESOME!!!

PC Guy: [crawls to the speakers] Must... resist... loud volume... [the sound waves blows his pants away] UGH! I THOUGHT I WAS WEARING MY LUCKY UNDERGARMENT!

[Cuts to a disturbing closeup of PC Guy's tighty whities. A lollipop is stuck to it, and the tag has Eric's name crossed out. Flies are heard buzzing]

[PC Guy himself gets blown away to Venus by the sound waves]

PC Guy: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! THE AGONY!!!!

[PC Guy falls back into Earth, and lands on the speakers. They get smashed to pieces.]

Eric: Hey! I was cutting a rug!

PC Guy: I don't care! [takes out a vacuum cleaner] As a punishment, you're going to have to vacuum the living room. When you're done, do the same thing to the basement.

Eric: Aye aye, captain! [starts up the vacuum] Here goes nothing. [he lets go of the vacuum, and it vacuums up the sofa] What the hay?!

[The vacuum also sucks up a painting, the TV, a cheese sculpture of PC Guy, a pool table, a mirror, a treadmill, and a mountain of dumbbells]

Eric: Uh oh.

PC Guy: What's going on now?!

[The vacuum looks like it's about to explode]

PC Guy: Eric... NOOOOOOOO!

[Footage of the Operation Crossroads explosion plays]

[The house is now nothing but a pile of ashes]

Eric: I can always, uh, get a construction worker to re-build this.

[PC Guy's face is blood red]

PC Guy: Eric... [takes a deep breath] I can't stand you and your frenzies. You think you can do whatever in this state? Think again, bucko. Laws exist for a reason. Without them, life would be very chaotic. Think about it. Oh yeah, I almost perished 2 times today, thanks to you. So you know what? [takes out a bindle stick] I'm going to live the rest of my life as a hermit, not some frail geek. So long, Eric J. Pearson. If I hear from you in 20 years, you'll probably be stuck in night classes. [storms off]

Eric: Good...bye? [to the audience] I think he'll come back when it's time for Christmas.

[Cuts to PC Guy outside of a cave]

PC Guy: Yes, a cave! Nowadays, it's probably the only source for a peaceful life. [walks in]

[Something is seen in the cave]

PC Guy: What was that?

???: It's us.

PC Guy: Who's us?

[Two cave dwellers join the scene]

Cave Dweller #2: Hello!

Cave Dweller #1: It's us! The cave dweller twins!

PC Guy: Two cave dwellers? I thought you guys were extinct!

Cave Dweller #2: Well, 65 million years ago, my brother, our pet dinosaur and I saw an asteroid coming towards earth, we took shelter in this cave, and we've been in here ever since.

Cave Dweller #1: Fluffy! Come over here!

[A dinosaur squishes the first cave dweller]

Fluffy: [roars]

PC Guy: [gasps] Whoa! The worlds last living dinosaur! How long have you guys been in here anyway?

Cave Dweller #1: Long enough to make two gazillion novels worth of cave drawings! Behold!

[Numerous cave drawings are shown]

PC Guy: This beats getting tortured by jocks everyday. Hey! How about we go skip some rocks?

Cave Dweller #2: OK, but if you're going to live with us, you need to get in style.

PC Guy: Huh?

[The Cave Dwellers remove PC Guy's clothes, and put a loincloth in it's place.]

PC Guy:  Whoa.

[His underwear was removed off-screen]

[Cuts to the four at an underground lake, ready to skip rocks]

PC Guy: Steady, steady...

[PC Guy skips a rock. The rock makes its way into the city. It gets crushed by a car that's driving at a high speed]

PC Guy: Beat that.

[Fluffy skips a rock, but it goes so far away, nobody knows where it stopped]

[Back at the Pearson's house (which is now repaired), Eric is reading some comic books]

Eric: ""Wow! Way to go, Match Girl!" a citizen exclaimed. "What about me?!" Match Boy asked in a sad-angry manner. "Uh, you too," the citizen said." Whoo! I'm going to ace my book report! Wait... something's not right. Usually PC Guy is pestering me or something. I have to find him!

[Meanwhile...]

PC Guy: Living with you guys is the best! No school, No responsibilities, No Eric... hey, what's for dinner?

Cave Dweller #2: I'm going to cook this dead cricket I found under my pet rock this morning.

PC Guy: (under breath) Gross.

Cave Dweller #1: And I'm going to cook this squirrel I found in near the entrance. (Holds up a squirrel that is clearly alive)

Fluffy: (Produces a human arm) [roars]

PC Guy:  AHHH! I'm just gonna go in here for a sec. (opens door, and dozens of human skeletons fall out.) AHHH! (under breath) These guys are gonna eat me!

(Looks back at the three, Fluffy is wearing a bib, the first cave dweller is stoking a fire, and the second one is reading "How to Cook Humans")

Both Cave Dwellers: Edward! We're ready for dinner!

PC Guy: AHHH! (runs out of the cave) You'll never eat me alive! (Exits the cave and blocks the entrance with a boulder)

Cave Dweller #2: Oh great. Just great.

Cave Dweller #1: Looks like were stuck in here.

Cave Dweller #2: Why are we wasting our time talking? We need to feast on PC Guy. [whistles] Yoo-hoo! Fluffy!

[Fluffy appears. The cave dwellers hop on his back]

Fluffy: [kicks the boulder and roars]

PC Guy: I'll be safe here in this here blueberry bush. [dives into the bush]

[The world starts shaking]

PC Guy: What was that?! [Sees the boulder rolling toward him] AHHH! [Narrowly dodges the boulder]

Both Cave Dwellers: AHHH! THE SUN! WE HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN 65 MILLION YEARS!!!! [The cave dwellers die of sun exposer]

Fluffy: [Roars and dies of sun exposer, too]

PC Guy:  Happy trails! (chuckles)

[A figure is walking behind PC Guy]

PC Guy: Who's there?

[It makes incoherent noises]

PC Guy: Well, I pretty much changed my mind about living as a hermit...

[The figure is still making odd noises]

PC Guy: [sprints] I'M GONNA GET MY BLOOD FLOWING AND TRY TO IGNORE THE UNNATURAL SOUNDS THAT ARE COMING FROM--- [crashes into a tree] Oh, the agony.

[The figure reveals to be Eric]

PC Guy: Oh, it's you. Weren't we neighbors 145 million years ago? And isn't your name Earl? Or was it Ernie?

Eric: My name is Eric, we are brothers, and you have only been out here for an hour!

PC Guy: An hour? Jeez, that's 2.4 million years in caveman time. [gets hit in the head by a coconut] What was I saying?

Eric: Something about, uhh....

PC Guy: And WHY am I wearing a loincloth?

Eric: I guess you were watching too much TV.

[The rock that Fluffy kicked earlier hits PC Guy on the back]

PC Guy: Let's never talk about this again.

Eric: I do know that you're going to talk about a welcome-back-party I've been organizing!

[Cuts to the house]

Eric: Ready? 1, a 2, and a 3!

[Rock music starts playing at a loud volume]

[Cuts to the exterior of the Pearson household]

PC Guy: OHHHHHHHH, THE AGONY!!!

[The end]