The Hacker

An obese Dorito-covered 22-year-old man in his mother's basement stumbles to get off of the chair that doesn't even fit his fat, jiggly body. Due to this, he has been nicknamed "The Jigglypuff of Horror" online and offline. And due to this, his logo had been changed to a black, waving jigglypuff on a purple flag.

One day, police got involved. They couldn't track him, as a proxy was used. The internet police are really sliding downhill these days huh.

The guy yawned and checked his watch, it's time for second dinner... eating his second dinner delightfully, he rolled back to the lower level of the home, rolling down the stairs like a rubber tire about to burst with helium. He sat on his chair, and eating another Dorito, he hacks another site. And another. And another. And another.

How many to go until the entire internet is his?

Not much apparently, he had all those years do to it.