Pygmalion

(Colonel Pickering and Professor Higgins are going out to a formal dinner. Higgins is wearing a dress. The lights are turned off, which causes Pickering and Higgins fall down the stairs. Higgins is now bleeding on Pickering.)

Higgins: I say, Pick: lock up and turn on the lights, will you?

(A creepy guy turns on the lights. Liza is standing at the bottom of the stairs.)

Higgins: What was that?

(A 49 minutes later... time card is shown.)

(Higgins' house is now flaming rubble. Firemen are putting the fire out.)

(Suddenly, Clara jumps up on top of the rubble and does ballet.)

Clara: Yay! I win at life!

(Clara trips and falls t o her untimely doom.)

(Freddy runs to a phone booth. He calls a number.)

Answer: Y'ello? Crown Castle Pizza.

Freddy: Um, yeah.. I would like to order 5'000 taxis.

Answer: Um, sir, I don't think you understand-

Freddy: The customer is always right!

Answer: But we're a pizza pla-

Freddy: The customer is always riiiiiiiight!

Answer: Seriously, man-

Freddy: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS FREAKING RIGHT!!! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO CALL A PLACE THAT RESPECTS ITS CUSTOMERS!!!

(Meanwhile, Mrs. Higgins is seen spanking Professor Higgins with a lead pipe in an attempt to revive him.)

(This works, and Professor Higgins flashes his mother, then rips his face off to reveal that it was just Vince McMahon wearing a mask.)

Vince: IT WAS ME, AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!!!

Mrs. Higgins: Wait...

(Mrs. Higgins rips her face off, revealing that of Stone Cold Steve Austin.)

Steve: How did you know I was under this thing? (Meanwhile, the paramedics are carrying Liza.)

Paramedic: How can we help her?

Vince: I have an idea!

(Vince runs over to Liza. They then kiss passionately. Pickering emerges from the rubble.)

Pickering: Check, please!

(It is revealed that they are surrounded by a crowd. The crowd laughs at Pickering's line.)

(Suddenly, a bearded man emerges from the crowd.)