User blog:Carlton Beaenkes/James Reviews - Episode 1: The Turkey Who Was Scarrey

Hi, guys, it's James, and I'm making a brand new blog series on this wiki called James Reviews. I may review other things, but first, I'd like to review old stories I wrote as a kid. You see, I used to be babysat a lot when I was a kid, and we'd pass the time by making stories. For privacy reasons, I'm going to refer to her as Janice. We were a team; Janice would transcribe them, and I would illustrate them. But to be honest, these stories are so bad that I have to document them in these reviews. Now I'm going to review the first story I ever wrote, The Turkey Who Was Scarrey... yup. That is a promising start.

"Once upon a googler,"

Oh my God. (facepalm)

"there was a turkey named Mr. Gobler."

Hang on a second. The name was "The Turkey Who Was Scarrey". I'm assuming that was my botched attempt at spelling Richard Scarry's name, so I feel it would make much more sense if the turkey's name was Richard Scarrey.

"there was a turkey named Richard Scarrey."

That's better.

"He was a super turkey."

A super turkey? I'm gonna assume that means a superhero turkey. Or a turkey with many health benefits. Watch out, Rick!

"He ate googler fat cereal and drank googler fat milk."

Here we go. We're starting with the googler stuff now.

"He played ping pong with Mayor Flip Flop."

Ah, yes, so we meet Rick's ping pong buddy, Mayor Flip Flop. I bet Rick gets a lot of political favors out of that. Also, I remember taking that name from a TV show. However, in a later illustration, he is referred to as Mayor Fliq Floq. That could be an error made by my younger self, but SINCE WHEN HAVE I EVER MADE AN ERROR?! Therefore, I'm going to assume Janice made an error in translation, and he is really Mayor Fliq Floq, which we will call him from now on-- oh, that's right, he isn't mentioned by name in the story again.

"They went on a jungle adventure and found many animals."

And the story just ends there. I do have to say, though, I appreciate that cliffhanger. Did they get awards for finding new species? Did they get killed by the animals?

Overall, looking back, I give this story a-- you know what? Screw it. Googler/10.