The Presidents of the United States

The Presidents of the United States is a shitty title given to the dictator of the United States so he doesn't sound like an evil mastermind. (In reality, he is)

The Presidents (so far)

 * George Washington - The first dictator in the office, he apparently chopped down a cherry tree with his own god-damn teeth.
 * John Adams - The second president, the first to live in the White House, which he painted with his semen. He and his wife were also related.
 * TBA